i havent spoke to anyone in a while.

this past fortnight has been really hard.

after to-ing and fro-ing to the doctors with various female infections they finally refer me to a gynaecologist. he does and exam (which was terribly upsetting) and tells me i have pelvic inflammatory disease. he gives me anti biotics and books me in for an ultrasound then says hell see me in two weeks.

i thought, great, and i only have a aten percent chance of being infertile. then i go for my scan, and low and behold, nothing, apparently i look very healthy around my reproductive organs. so everythings fine and im taking my meds and then wednesday night comes.

i have a pain in my abdomen so bad its worse than when it started, im almost crying, biting my arm to try and take my mind off the pain. in the mornign i call the doctor and book my self in. after listenin to me, seein that the meds arent working and he felt my tummy. it was sore, felt like a bruise, and was so so tender. then he tells me its likely i have endometriosis and i will need a laparoscopy in the coming weeks.

i go home, go on the internet.

then i find my self on websites that start with "ivf.net" and "hyster-sisters".

shit crack.